Obey The Numbers

The Dream That Wanted Life
When I was a kid I always got pretty bad night terrors. It was a common occurance for me to sleep walk around the house throughout my entire childhood and somewhat into my teen years. Just the usualy shit. Falling dreams, sleep walking and talking, dreams about terrorism and often just random dreams perhaps inspired by television. My earliest memory of sleep walking was when I was 4 and my mother woke me up in the living room. Apparently I was talking about a wedding which confused her. I remember a couple of events still. When I was 9 I remember walking out into the loungeroom in the morning and moving boxes outside (we were soon to be moving at the time) and I was muttering stuff like "I'm sick of this!" while pulling at an armchair in frustration. Around the times of the 9/11 attacks I kept getting dreams about planes being carjacked. I didn't watch much of the news as I played Nintendo for the most part but what little I did see obviously had an impact as I ran into my mothers room screaming and using technical terms and names of planes. I remember a vague image of being on the inside of a plane. During this night terror I tried desperatly to unlock the front door. I couldn't fortunately, who knows what could have followed? I probably would have just kept running until I woke up.

Clearly I am not stranger to the various terrors and wonders of the dreamverse but there was nothing that could prepare me for the complete horror of the dreams to come in my early teen years where I began living under the house of the time which had a bathroom and kitchen with a conjoined living room and bedroom. Dreams so vivid they deserve articles of their own. One night I had a dream that I remember in a way that brings chills to my skin but I never had any visualisation. The dream could best be described as a sensation of pure intensity. An intensity I just cannot explain filled every inch of my body untill I felt so tormented that I had to get out of bed. I would pace around my room with the lights out unable to make sense of anything. All I could do is panic and scream as the sensation refused to leave my body and I could feel a presence always. A presence that wanted control. Suddenly I felt the urge to escape so I ran as fast as I could up the stairs in search of someone to calm me down although I never communicated that, I had some awareness but not enough to try and interact with anyone directly.

No one really thought anything of it as this was familiar to them but to me I knew it was different. I had the same dream various times after that night. Always when I was alone. I didn't have dreams when my girlfriend of the time would stay over. It seemed to occur every three months like clockwork for a period of about 3 years from when I was roughly twelve and just eventually stopped when I was nearing Sixteen. Each time it occured it would be just as intense as the last filling me with madness and desperation. Some nights I could feel it coming over me slowly before I was completely asleep, I'd start drifting away into it and try to wake myself up but eventually it always got me. Slowly over time it started to take a form.

Pacing around my dark room aimlessly I felt like my eyes were closed and reading random combinations of very large numbers but I could see my eyes were open and darting around at the moonlit furniture and shadows. Random series of infinitly large numbers began to overcome me and overthrow my sanity. I couldn't literally see the numbers nor could I hear them. I could FEEL the numbers in my head and in my skin as if being called out by a voice so low it vibrates through my blood stream. The more I tried to fight the feelings the larger the numbers grew but I couldn't try to relax and just accept the numbers. It was as if they represented soemthing very important. It sometimes felt like if the number reached zero something very bad would happen, something cosmic. The numbers were so huge though that there'd be no fear of them hitting zero, it was the fact they were counting towards an eventual zero that caused me so much stress. Like I said, there was never any visuals to this, it was all communicated to my brain in a way I can't understand.

One day it just stopped and I have not experienced it ever again. I still have a fear of it returning one day and I am almost sending ymself insane with fear recalling it. I can still recall it all so damn vividly. I find things such as the russian radio towers that transmit random numbers to be unreasonably creepy as a result of my experience but I do not in any way think they were related. I had moved out of that house around the time it stopped but I'm still not certain and never can be of the cause.